The Power of Reframing

Ever hear the saying, “Don’t cry over spilled milk?” It means a lot more than may be initially apparent. Often times, people beat themselves up over insignificant mistakes or shortcomings. Sometimes people have a single seemingly negative experience that causes them to form a limiting belief about themselves or the world which hinders their success.  These people often appear bitter, jaded or insecure. All it takes is a small shift in thinking to transform their lives. One might tell themselves, “I’m so clumsy! I can’t do anything right.” or they can simply clean the mess and have more positive self-talk like, “It’s okay. That milk was probably going sour anyway.”

In each moment, we are perceiving reality through the lens of our senses, and the way we choose to interpret it is completely unique to who we are and what we believe from past experiences. If you’re speaking and some dude walks out of the room, you might take it personally and think, “He must be bored by what I’m saying. I must be boring,” or you can have a more optimistic outlook and think, “He must really have to pee, because what I’m saying is awesome.”

Focus on becoming aware of any negative belief patterns that surface in various situations, and take time to remember the earliest event that triggered you to think that way. Then, you can look for evidence to disprove the negative beliefs. For example, if you think you’re too fat to get a girlfriend, look for examples of fat men who have girlfriends. The more you prove to yourself that your fears are irrational, the easier it will be to switch to a more confident mindset.

Ever since the movie “The Secret” came out, the idea that you create your reality has been spreading like wildfire, and whether you believe in the law of attraction or not, hopefully now you can at least see how you create your experience of reality which dramatically affects your actions and results. If you don’t believe something is possible for you, the motivation to strive for it will be nonexistent. Keep an open mind, and practice seeing things from different perspectives. If someone is feeling upset, see if you can say something that reframes what’s bothering them and shines a more positive light. Find ways of seeing your supposed weaknesses as strengths. If you feel awkward approaching people in social situations, and think you might be viewed as an annoyance, you might reframe it by flipping the script and thinking something like, “I’m awesome, and all these people want me to approach them.”

Joe asked God, “How much is a penny worth in Heaven?”

God replied, “$1 million.”

Joe asked, “How long is a minute in Heaven?”

God said, “1 million years.”

Joe asked for a penny.

God said, “Sure, in a minute.”

“Aaron T. Beck developed cognitive therapy in the 1960s. Beck worked with patients that had been diagnosed with depression, and found that negative thoughts would come into minds of these patients. Beck helped his patients recognize the impact of their negative thoughts, and aided them in shifting their mindset to think more positively—eventually lessening or even getting rid of the patient’s depression. This process was termed cognitive restructuring – the main goal of which was to rethink negative thoughts and turn them into positive thoughts

Affirmations for Insecurity

It’s easy to get caught up in irrational F.E.A.R (false evidence appearing real).  These affirmations are designed to help us release the subconscious programming that makes up these “what if?” worst case scenarios so that we don’t let our minds get in the way of our own happiness.

Moving From Fantasy to Reality

From the depths of inner regions of dream time fantasies,

our hearts expand and contract with the beat of a thousand breaths.

Can’t sleep at night with an insatiable insomnia that awakens my mind state.

I think of her smile, and amp up my feel good place of comfort with a deep burning desire.

How I long to be with you in the cozy bed with the heater melting our faces off and that singed hair smell.

But alas, I must venture forth from the love nest having had my thirst quenched to bring in prosperity and abundance.

Gratitude pours out from my every pore that I’m rich with love and the resourcefulness to enjoy every moment of it.


– Jacob Louis

How to Naturally Be More Attractive

One mistake a lot of men and women make is trying to be someone they’re not to be more attractive.  When you realize that you are loved then you will be.  It’s the seeking love and approval paradigm that keeps love separate.   Understand that by being authentic and loving yourself others will love you too.   It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy.  If you don’t love yourself you will expect to be rejected by others, and if you are not then you think you must have tricked them to believe that you are someone you are not.  This kind of cycle makes you lose confidence.

We live in an abundant universe.  All you need to do is make the choice to anticipate love being reciprocated instead of letting the fear of rejection drive you to put on a facade.  Being “Real” is just being natural and comfortable with yourself as you are, and not trying to change your behavior to please others.  Stay centered in who you are.  It’s about having the mindset of abundance.  This creates a win-win situation in a relationship, because instead feeling like you’re worthless and you’d be lucky to be loved.  You can just relax and trust that you are lovable by being genuine, real, authentic, natural, optimistic,  and sincere.

You might ask, “How do I be myself?  I don’t know who I am.”  From my experience it’s not about knowing who you are so much as who you are not.  As we strip away layers of the ego we get to the core of who and what we are.  Beyond all the thoughts, games, limiting beliefs, hopes and fears is our true self.  It’s that pure awareness that you exist.  From this place you don’t claim to be anything.  You simply are.  When we stop trying to prove ourselves we become very attractive.  Meditation is a great way to release negativity, let go of resistance, become more present to the moment, stop seeking validation, and eliminate selfishness.

I’m constantly looking for ways to better myself by learning new information to improve my attitude, skills, and life.  That’s an important part of being human as I see it.  I choose to constantly evolve by educating myself through videos, books, quotes, and personal experiences.  When it all comes down to it you need to think for yourself.  You can find great benefit from hearing different points of view, although in the end, it’s all about what makes sense and works for you.